BasilandFig

I hate election season.

Between the robo-calls, the mailings and the hyperactive press coverage, it’s all a little too much.

Especially when there is no respite from it at home.

That’s right, I’m in a mixed relationship.  One of us is red state, and one of us is blue state.

I’m not saying who is who, but I will [...]

Shhh, quiet.  What’s that sound?

Do you hear it?

Oh, wait.

That’s just you over there, snickering at my book choices.

And maybe throwing up in your mouth a little bit.

If I weren’t so far behind in my Book-A-Week-Challenge, I would maybe not admit to having read this.

Because I have literary standards, you know.

But let’s not look [...]

I never thought that I would have a ‘type’ of man I was attracted to in relationships.

And even if I did, I thought that ‘type’ would be someone very similar to me: book-smart, educated, loves to read, etc.—i.e., a dork.

However.

I’m here to tell you that apparently, my type is the guy who hated [...]

Gratuitous cute dog photo.

In case this didn’t work.

The scene: Dinner at his mom’s house.  His cousins are in town.  His mom changes the conversation to ‘What to do with my remains after I die.’

My guy: Well, I’ve got Dad’s ashes in my kitchen.

Me: Where in your kitchen?

My guy: In one of the kitchen cabinets.

Me: [...]

I was going to title this dish ‘Seafood Seduction Pasta,’ because partly it was my intent to seduce my boyfriend with this dish, but partly I only made it because I like cooking with mussels and they were on sale.

I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking, ‘You live on the coast of North Carolina.  You [...]

How to Sabotage a New Relationship:

1. Tell him it is your life goal to get fat and wear a muumuu.

2. When you meet his mom for the first time tell her that you’re eating for two.

3. Tell him that you’re eating for two: yourself and the muumuu.

4. Ask his mom how she’d feel if you [...]