Well, it’s that time of year again: The time of the first frost, and then the first killing frost; the time of begrudgingly switching the thermostat over to ‘heat;’ the time of turning the bed into blanket-topia; the time of eating all of the Halloween candy before Halloween (and the time, obviously, of being a [...]
Years from now, I may decide that the finest moment in my professional career was the day I told the sales guy he needed to make the other guy stop pooping in the ladies’ bathroom.
On the bright side, it worked (no more surprise floaters!)
The downside is the fact that this was a conversation that needed [...]
There are wasps in the ladies’ room at work. Although, ‘ladies room’ I think is a generous euphemism for what it actually is: a decrepit trailer containing toilets. And by ‘trailer,’ I do not mean something semi-nice, like you might see at an outdoor wedding; I mean something that the Clampett’s would have [...]
There are people out there who refuse to allow anyone else to load the dishwasher at their house.
I used to think these people were crazy.
I used to think that, if someone else wants to do your dishes for you, let them.
I used to think that any dish-doing was good dish-doing.
But then I moved in with [...]
The other day I picked something off my butt that I thought was a tick. On further inspection, it turned out to be either a pimple or a piece of food. I’m not sure that either of these scenarios is better, actually, than it being a tick.
And now you are all thinking that Andy is [...]
A couple of weeks ago I sprained my ankle. This is not the part of the story that involves a bear, though it would certainly be more interesting if it did. Rather, it was due to a deep but narrow hole in the ground, deceptively grown over by grass.
It left me (and a tupperware of [...]
Andy: Why didn’t you answer your phone?
Me: Oh, sorry. I was trying to drown a fly in a glass of water.
Well, it’s that time of year when my sense of style veers dangerously towards: “Too hot to care.” Which is why you may find me wearing clothes in public that really should only be worn in the privacy of my own home–and not even in the backyard at that. Case in point: black cami + [...]
Andy was born and raised in New Jersey. Not that I hold that against him, but. You know how southerners are. I can forgive it but I can’t forget it.
Even though he’s lived down here for 20 years and has, for the most part, acclimated, there are still certain words he says that are endearingly [...]
I forgot to put on deodorant this morning, and so I’ve spent most of the day wondering if windex might be an acceptable substitute since this is the only thing we have in the office that could be comparable.
The media is making a big stink about George Zimmerman’s lawyer opening with a knock-knock joke. My [...]