Nearly every day after school when I was a kid, I would go over to my best friend Ashley’s house and go inside without knocking. Their kitchen was a galley-style affair, with black appliances and a side-by-side refrigerator before the days when those were even really popular. The refrigerator was closest to the entrance and [...]
Nurse: How are you doing? Are you feeling nervous?
Andy: Yeah, a little.
Nurse: Is this your first time?
Andy: No, I’ve felt nervous before.
This year for Thanksgiving, Andy suggested telling everyone we had already made plans with other people, then staying home and eating pizza in our sweatpants instead.
I can’t say I entirely disagree with this idea; in fact, nothing sounds more appealing to me right now staying home all day and doing absolutely nothing, not exerting ourselves [...]
Me: Hey, how many bumps do you have on your head?
Andy: I dunno, I think four. Why?
Me: I was gonna write it down on this note so you can give it to the doctor to make sure she doesn’t miss any.
Andy: Yeah, ’cause I’m sure she didn’t learn how to count in med school.
Andy: Oh my god, they’re so old, Fleetwood Mac. They’re older than your mom.
Me: I’m putting that on the blog.
Andy: No, don’t, it might not even be true. We should find out how old they are first. [A few Wikipedia searches later:] Well they are older than your mom. But you still shouldn’t say it, [...]
I always thought that as I got older, losing pets would get easier. Or maybe not easier, but more bearable, somehow. Well, in some ways it has and in some ways it hasn’t. Because they are still a pet, dammit, still that wet-nosed, soft-eyed face of love that greets you everyday—multiple times of day, even, [...]
My Guy: The next time you go to Sam’s could you get me some Goop [hand cleaner/degreaser]?
Me: Yeah. They don’t have it at Costco?
My Guy: No.
Me: I wonder why not?
My Guy: Because people who shop at Costco don’t work on their own cars. They pay people to do it for them.
I am watching a tropical storm out the window as I write this (or, tropical storm-ish: the outer bands of Hurricane Arthur). The trees heave and yaw, their leaves peel back to reveal silvered underbellies. The wind comes in heavy gusts, but sometimes not at all; likewise the rain: sometimes it falls in sheets, sometimes [...]
[While watching the intro to Jimmy Fallon when they list the night's guests]
Andy: Who’s Miles Teller?
Me: I dunno…Maybe he’s one of those magicians from Penn & Teller?
Andy: [Blank stare]. Do you know who Penn & Teller are?
Me: Sure I do, they’re magicians. They do weird stuff. There’s the one really big guy, and the small [...]
In the spirit of, ‘We’ve been making a lot of soups!,’ let me share one with you.
This recipe comes from Parade magazine, via my great-aunt Suzy & Uncle Bert. Now, say what you will about Parade magazine (that it is stupid and boring and full of fluff and does anyone ever actually read it?) but I [...]