Shit My Guy Says: Bad Hearing Edition

My Guy:  I think I’m gonna need a BJ tonight.

Me:  Who do you want to be gay with?

My Guy: ‘Bee-jay,’ not ‘be gay.’  What is wrong with you?

Me:  Oh.  That makes more sense.

Reckoning

There comes a time in every girl’s life, and for me I suppose that time is now, when…

…her mother finds out about her blog.

Ah, well.  Such is the internets.

So from now on you’ll just have to hear about my foul-mouthed rants and drunken sexcapades in person.

As far as you know, I am probably definitely [...]

Let’s Do the Mash

No, not the monster mash.

The cauliflower mash, of course.

Normally I am too cheap to buy fresh cauliflower, unless it’s on the produce bruise-and-dent rack.  So when I am lucky enough to find it cheap I usually roast it or put it into a curry—something that maintains the cauliflower-y-ness.

However…

Meatloaf of Gratitude Recipe

a.k.a. The Most Delicious Meatloaf of Deliciousness.

First, let’s say that you suddenly become the proud adoptive parent of four feral kittens in need of twice-a-day medicating.

And now let’s say that three days after said feral-kitten-explosion you and Your Guy go out of town.

Feral kittens do not good traveling companions make.

Thus:  ‘Sooo, Mom.   I have a [...]

BAWC Week 39: 78 Reasons Why Your Book May Never Be Published

…And 14 Reasons Why It Just Might by Pat Walsh

My mom bought this book for me a few years ago before I was even close to starting to think about even trying to write a novel.

I read the book back then—the whole thing—even though Reason #1 Why your book may never be published [...]

Road Trip

Snooki the wanna-be front-seat driver

A couple of weekends ago My Guy and I took a trip up to the N.C. mountains.

Why?

Because it was fall and it was lovely and, courtesy of my amazing aunt, we had a free place to stay.

And because it had been a while since I’d hung out with Helen, of [...]

3.5 Pounds of Distraction

An interesting thing happens in neighborhoods that are populated mainly by irresponsible college students and kindhearted old ladies.

And that something is:

This is the note that you leave beside the coffeemaker when you have a box full of kittens in your truck overnight.

You see, the way (I think) it happens is this: the irresponsible college [...]

BAWC Week 38: The Tiger’s Wife

First, let’s talk about hype.

And the fact that this book had a lot of it, and it was distracting.

For example, the author bio, included both in the book jacket and in the book itself, which makes a very big deal about how young the author is.  “Born in 1985,” it says, and “the [...]

The Best Chocolate Cake Recipe. Ever. In the World.

Did you know that there is actually a restaurant named The Best Chocolate Cake in the World?

It’s true.  It’s in New York City, but I have never been there and, more than likely, will never go.

Why?  Because I have no need to.  Because I know that the Best Chocolate Cake in the World is made [...]

The Snag

Because Snooki is part Boxer and full Mutt, she has some orthodontia problems.

Here she is exhibiting her classic underbite which, though adorable, is difficult to capture on camera as she only does it while begging or concentrating very hard, and the camera makes her anxious.

Here she is exhibiting The Elvis, or Half-Snag, while begging from [...]