My Guy: When are you gonna get some new jeans?
Me: What’s wrong with these jeans? These are my nice jeans.
My Guy: Yeah, but they’re about 8 inches too short. The flood is in New Jersey, you know.
My Guy: Your pants look like high-waters. It looks like you’re trying to wade through a flood. Maybe sometime you can check the dumpsters behind the big-and-tall store and find something that actually fits.