Andy went out of town for the weekend. Three days he was gone, and in that time I started talking to the dog; tried to rescue an injured feral cat that clearly did not want to be rescued despite his piteous yowling & three-legged hobbling; and I tried to make friends with the crows by feeding them cake.
Clearly, I am destined to become one of those old ladies whose house is overrun with about 85 cats and who ends up on the news one day after the cats have mutinied and eaten her leg off. So, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
There is a gang of crows in our neighborhood. I know that technically the proper name for a group of crows is a ‘murder,’ but I think the word gang is more appropriate. They loiter, they fight, they strut down driveways like they own the place. They all wear the same outfit; they don’t trust white people. They steal (pecans from the neighbor’s tree). They yell at each other all hours of the day.
So, a gang of crows.
I enjoy watching them, even if it is sometimes unnerving to find the whole gang hanging out in your front yard at once, walking awkwardly as they look for bugs, or worms or whatever it is they eat.
The other day I noticed a crow thoroughly enjoying a handful of fritos that had fallen out of a friend’s car and onto our driveway (hi, friends: please clean out your car at your own house), even after the fritos were eaten the crow still paced the area, staring intently at the gravel in search of any missed crumbs.
Crows like junk food, I thought. Maybe they will like this cake I made.
The cake in question was a banana cake that sounded delicious but ended up tasting a little…weird. As cakes go, it wasn’t delicious and after a week I was tired of looking at it, and debating whether I should compost it or not.
Instead I gave it to the crows and sat on the couch with my coffee and watched them eat it.
Which was a more enjoyable experience than actually eating the cake myself.
And now they are well on their way to developing Type 2 diabetes, if crows can get such a thing.
I’m sorry, crows. I just wanted to be your friend.
And get rid of that damn cake.